Settingübergreifend Fun Stuff


Space Marine Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not refer to sisters of battle as Bolter B****** unless thou wants to be the first person to enter orbit without the aid of a shuttle.

2. Thou shalt not shout "Thongs for the Thong God" in front of the Dark Eldar unless thou wants to learn the true meaning of pain.

3. Thou shalt not tip terminators over.

4. C-3PO is not a necron ambassador.

5. Thou shalt not get the drop pods to pick up pizza.

6. Thou shalt not follow a Librarian around thinking, "Can you hear me now", repetitively in an attempt to drive him insane.

7. Thou shalt never say, "You can't handle the truth!" to a Dark Angel.

8. Barney is a heretic.

9. Inquisitors are not "Nigel no-friends".

10. Thou shalt not refer to Ultramarines as "Ultrasmurfs".
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nur son paar Tipps...


AW: Fun Stuff

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica] Steve the Space Marine.
author’s note: couldn’t think of a bumpagaunt story so Steve is going to get an outing. Enjoy.

Steve was excited. He kept fidgeting in the seatbelt of the drop pod even though Sergeant Simon told him not to. Steve was excited because he was going to bring the Emperor’s justice to the Xenos. This was Steve’s favourite thing to do in the whole galaxy. This is because the Emperor made Steve to do this and Steve was very good at it.

Bang went the Drop Pod as it hit the ground. Steve unbuckled his seatbelt all by himself and walked out the door. ‘Brother Steve, follow me’ Chaplain Chris said as he ran towards some Xenos. ‘Alright’ said Steve and he followed Chris shooting his bolter at the Xenos. The bolter made loud noises as it was fired. ‘Bang bang’ it went and was very scary. Steve wasn’t scared though as he was a Space Marine and Space Marines didn’t know fear. Not of the dark or the monsters under the bed and especially not loud noises.

The Xenos didn’t like being shot at. Shooting made them bleed and die. They decided to shoot Steve and his friends. Steve chuckled as alien fire hit him, it tickled him. Steve was not scared at being shot; his armour and faith in the Emperor protected him. It was very tickly being shot at though.

When Steve reached the Xenos he was running at he got his knife out and started cutting them. Chris used his fancy stick to whack the Xenos. Soon all the Xenos were dead and Steve was very happy. He cried “For the Emperor” many times before he realised that he should go and pray like a good Space Marine.

Black Library - Steve The Space Marine


AW: Fun Stuff

Imperialer Slang:

Smoke chief - Artillery SO

XBox - Xeno fortified position

Instant sunshine - orbital bombardment

Und Dinge, die man als Imperialer Soldat nicht hören will:

"Wait, why are the Space Marines running away?"

"Oh, cool! And we get to be one of them? Who are the Last Chancers, anyway?"

"I thought you packed the ammo."

"Here, you're shooting the plasma gun."

“This new body armour is so light! And paper thin too!”

“Sarge? One of my grenades is missing a pin...”

“You, guardsman! Pick up that alien object. It WON'T bite you!”

Commissar: There will come a time when the wills of men fail...that is when I step in.

Navigator durring warp travel: ZzzzzZZzzzzZZzzzzZzzzzZ

Wo wir gerade dabei sind:
Wie hieß doch dieser verruchte Mutanten-Distrikt…?
Ah ja… die „Sesamstraße“… behaarte Riesen, grüne breitmäulige Typen, die in Mülltonnen leben, sprechendes Geflügel! Vernichtet den Mutanten, den Xenos, den Ketzer!


AW: Fun Stuff

grüne breitmäulige Typen, die in Mülltonnen leben = Orkz!
sprechendes Geflügel = Kroot
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