Scaldor's Wortspielecke

Learn & remember:
(East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!)

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10
go east and west, I-35 goes north. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton
strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &
turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante
Sauce.
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... It AINT REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bread in San
Antonio.... and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be
cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the
Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it
spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas, Texas A&M or Texas Tech. They come outta
there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they
still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than
any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas" If you do, it will get you
whipped by the best.


Oh yeah, I almost forgot... Go Longhorns!

Zum Vergrößern anklicken....

That's all false lol

Zum Vergrößern anklicken....

Ich antwortete dann mit:

oh really? is this all false? Come on you are a well mannered texan aren't you?

Zum Vergrößern anklicken....

Dann meinte er:

Everything is bigger and better in Texas

Zum Vergrößern anklicken....

Und ich antwortete wieder:

Oh really? Everything is bigger? hahahaha oooh I am sooo evil sometimes, and just a
little naughty...

Zum Vergrößern anklicken....

das sah er natürlich als Einladung und meinte:

Well I have something big for you and if I get the chance, I will prove
it to you. I'd love to take you out. So you want to be my angel eh? Is that a good
or bad angel?

Zum Vergrößern anklicken....

>>>Noemi<<< :inlove: